Desire Isn't Automatic Part I
In this episode, sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell joins host Whitni Miller to unpack why desire and libido are not the same, why mismatched sexual interest can emerge even in loving relationships, and how context shapes what makes sex meaningful. They explore the emotional needs beneath wanting sex and offer practical ways for couples, especially queer women, to talk about desire, consent, and experimentation without needing everything figured out first.
Cyndi Darnell is a sex and relationship therapist, somatic sexologist, educator, and author based in New York City. Her work sits at the intersection of sexuality, relationships, embodiment, and emotional intimacy.
Cyndi helps people understand the often complicated relationship between desire, connection, identity, and the body. She works with individuals and couples navigating low desire, mismatched libido, sexual anxiety, relationship challenges, and the many ways intimacy can change over time.
Her approach is somatic, curious, sex-positive, and relationship-centered. Rather than treating sexuality as a problem to be fixed, Cyndi sees sex and intimacy as skills that can be explored, learned, and developed. Her work makes space for diverse relationship structures and identities, including queer relationships, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and kink.
She is the author of Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire, and her work focuses on helping people move beyond shame, obligation, and outdated ideas about what relationships and sex are “supposed” to look like.
Cyndi offers therapy, counseling, education, and online programs through her website.
Learn More about Cyndi:
http://www.cyndidarnell.com
Follow Cyndi:
IG- @cyndi_darnell
YouTube - @cyndi_darnell
TikTok @cyndi_darnell
FB @cyndidarnellpage
Learn More From Whitni:
https://www.bde-moves.com
Follow Whitni at:
IG - @bde.moves
FB - groups/bdemoves
YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks
TikTok - @bdemoves
